下面是我整理的笑话英语小 故事 ，希望对大家有帮助。

　笑话英语小故事：We are friends(我们是朋友)

　Tommy is turtle. He has no daddy, no mummy and no friends.

　Tommy 是一只乌龟。他没有爸爸、妈妈和朋友。

　He is crying. A bird comes. She says: ?I can fly. Let?s fly!?

　他在哭。一只小鸟过来了。她说：?我会飞，让我们一起飞吧。?

　Tommy says: ? no,no, I can?t fly!?

　Tommy 说：?不，不，我不会飞。?

　A rabbit comes. He says: ? I can jump. Let?s jump!?

　一只兔子过来了。他说：?我会跳。让我们一起跳吧。?

　Tommy says: ?no, no. I can?t jump!?

　Tommy说：?不，不。我不会跳。?

　A monkey comes. He says:?I can climb the tree. Let?s climb the tree!?

　一只猴子过来了。他说：?我会爬树。让我们一起爬树吧。?

　Tommy says: ? no, no. I can?t climb the tree!?

　Tommy说：?不，不。我不会爬树。?

　A duck comes. He says: ?I can swim. Let?s swim!?

　一只鸭子过来了。他说:?我会 游泳 ，让我们一起游泳吧!?

　Tommy smiles: ? we are friends!?

　鸭子笑了：?我们是朋友!?

?

　笑话英语小故事：Little mouse(小老鼠)

　It?s a sunny day. A little mouse wants to go out and play.

　这是一个晴朗的一天。一只小老鼠想要去外面玩

　But he is afraid of the cat . so he peeks and peeks.

　但是它害怕猫。 所以左看看右看看

　He peeks to the left and peeks to the right.

　它看了左边又看右边

　Suddenly, the mummy mouse shouts.

　突然，老鼠妈妈叫道：

　?watch out! Watch out! The cat is here , the cat is here.?

　?小心!小心! 猫在这里，猫在这里?

?

　笑话英语小故事：The hart in the ox-stall

　A hart was being pursued by some dogs. It ran into an ox-stall, and hid itself in a truss of hay. only the tips of its horns could be seen.

　Soon after the hunters came to the stable, and asked if anyone had seen the hart. The stable boys looked around, but could see nothing. So the hunters went away.

　Later the master came in. He looked around, and saw that something unusual was there.

　He pointed to the truss of hay, and asked, "What are those two strange things?" When the stable boys went to look, they discovered the hart.

　牛栏里的雄鹿

　●一只雄鹿被猎狗追赶得很急，跑进牛栏里，躲在一大堆干草里面，只有鹿角尖露在外面。

　●猎人们很快来到牛栏，询问是否有人看到这头鹿。牧童们四处张望，什么也没有看到，于是猎人们走了。

　●不久，主人回来了，他四处检查时，觉得有些异常。

　●他指着那堆干草问：?那两个怪模怪样的东西是什么牧童们上前来翻寻，发现了那只鹿。

　寓意: 在逃避一种危险时，不要忽视另一种危险。

?

　笑话英语小故事：The eagle and the arrow

　An eagle was flying in the sky. As soon as it saw a rabbit, it swooped down on its prey.

　Suddenly it was hit by an arrow.

　It fluttered slowly down to the earth, and blood was pouring from the wound.

　When the eagle looked down, he found that the shaft of the arrow was feathered with one of its own plumes.?Alas!?it cried.?We often give our enemies the means for our own destruction.?

　鹰和箭

　●鹰在天空中飞翔，当他看见一只野兔时，就俯冲下来捕捉猎物。

　●突然，有人一箭射中了它。

　●鹰扇着翅膀降落在地面上。鲜血从伤口中喷涌而出。

　●它低头看到箭尾竟是由一根它自己的羽毛制成的，就痛苦地说：?唉，我们总是给敌人提供毁灭我们自己的工具!?

　寓意: 人们常常因自己的原因而受到伤害，那种痛苦更令人难受。

有个笑话讲述的是个男的早飞机上厕所有3个按键1是HOT WATER2是HOT AIR 有的速度给我 或传给我谢谢了火速啊

1、Osama Bin Laden, a Canadian, and President Bush were walking down the street when they saw a golden lamp. They rubbed it and a genie came out and said, "I will grant each one a wish that’s 3 together." The Canadian said, "I am a father and my son will be a farmer so I want the soil in Canada to be forever fertile." The genie said the magic words and the wish came true. Osama looked amazed so he wished for a wall around Afghanistan the genie said the magic words and again the wish came true. President Bush said "Genie, tell me more about this wall," the genie said,” It’s 50 feet thick and 500 feet tall so nothing can get in and nothing can get out." President Bush said,” Wow! That’s a big bridge...Fill it with water!!!

拉登,一加拿大人还有布什总统走在大街上看到一盏金色的灯.他们擦了擦灯出现了一个精灵.精灵说:"我要满足你们每人一个愿望总共三个."加拿大人说:"我是个父亲我儿子将成为农夫,因此我想让加拿大的土地永远肥沃."精灵说了咒语愿望实现了.拉登看了很惊奇,他希望有座城墙围绕阿富汗.精灵又说了咒语愿望又实现了.布什总统问:"精灵请告诉我关于这座墙的事情."精灵回答:"墙厚50英尺,高500英尺,因而里面的任何东西出不来外面的任何东西进不去."布什总统说:"哇!那是座大桥耶...注满水!!!"

2、once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?"

两个猎人进森林里打猎，其中一个猎人不慎跌倒，两眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话。接线员沉着地说：“第一步，要先确定你的朋友已经死亡。”于是，接线员在电话里听到一声枪响，然后听到那猎人接着问：“第二步怎办？”

3、Let me take it down

An elephant said to a mouse ,"no doubt that you are the smallest znd most useless thing that Ihave e ver seen ."

"Pless ,say it again .Let me take it down ."the mouse said ."I will tell a flea what I know."

为我所用

一头大象对一只小老鼠说：“你无疑是我见过的最小、最没用的东西。”

“请再说一遍，让我把它记下来。”老鼠说。“我要讲给我认识的一只跳蚤听。

4、Watering Flower In Rain

Tom:Why doyou have that watering can?

Dan:I'm going to water the flowers.

Tom:But it'd raining.

Dan:That's OK.I'm wear-ing my raincoat.

雨天浇花

汤姆：你拿喷壶做什么？

丹：我要去浇花。

汤姆：可是，在下雨呀！

丹：没关系，我穿着雨衣呢！

5、Two birls

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

两只鸟

老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？

学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。

老师：请说说看。

学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。

6 、he Fish Net

"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"

"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.

鱼网

"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安？" 老师发问道。

"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。

7、The New Teacher

George comes from school on the first of September.

"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.

"I didn\'t like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....."

新老师

9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。

"乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗？" 妈妈问。

"妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。"

8、 A physics Examination

once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.

The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls?

Nick\'s answer: Because our eyes are before ears.

一次物理考试

在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。

这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？

尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。

9

Too Fast or Too Slow

A man was driving at 130 miles an hour when a policeman overtook him.

"Was I driving too fast,officer?"the man asked.

"NO,"the policeman answered,"You were flying too slow."

太慢或太快

一个男人正在以130英里每小时的速度行驶，当一个警察看见他时，

他问：“我开的太快了吗？警官。”

“不”，警察说，“你飞的太慢了。”

10Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”

“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”

“她是个卖糖果的。”

11 Nest and Hair

My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.

"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.

"I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.

"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her .

"Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "

Notes:

(1) inform v.告诉

(2) nest n.窝；巢

(3) description n.描述

(4) encourage v.鼓励

(5) resemble v. 相似；类似

鸟窝与头发

我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外 的树上垒了个窝。

“是什么鸟呢？”我姐姐问她。

“我没看到鸟儿，老师，只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。

“那么，你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗？”我姐姐鼓励她道。

“哦，老师，就像你的头发一样。”

有一位男士坐在一台最先进的豪华喷射客机 ，突然肚子剧痛，要拉肚子.... 但所有的男士专用厕所都客

满。 但他实在憋不住了， 于是跟空中**拜托， 让他用一下女生厕所。

空中**有点为难， 但还是答应让他去上， 还很担心一再交待他不要碰任何东西， 拉完肚子就赶快出 来。于是他一阵慌乱进去女生厕所。 当他拉完后， 神情一阵轻松 … 发现马桶旁有三个按钮， 分别写著

HW、HA、ATR ，他很好奇； 想想这么先进的厕所一定有什么特别之处， 但又想起空中**的叮咛 KK 。不 过，还是很好奇， 于是按了第1个写著 HW 钮 …… 咦！竟然从后面喷出清洁的热水。 好棒！ 原来是 Hot Water 之意。

他心想，真高级！ 连忙看第2个钮 … 写著 HA 应该就是 Hot Air 罗！ 果然按下钮后，送来徐徐热

风。真有意思！！ 那第3个写著 ATR 到底是什么意思？

于是他按下第三钮 …… 突然一阵剧痛 ……$@#&!* ，两眼发黑晕眩了过去 ……

当他醒来时已在医院，护士**面色凝重的看著他说： 先生，你醒了！这是你的 DD 我把它放在你的

枕头旁，希望你节哀！

“哇哇哇！我的 DD ！……！怎会这样？”

他大叫：“我不是在上厕所吗？怎么会这样？”

先生，空姐说你误触了 ATR 钮， 那是 Automatic Tampon Remover = 卫生棉条自动拔除 .